I have a blender in my mind today, scrambling all sorts of thoughts into one greenish goo. So much to think about … and yet I don’t feel like thinking about any of it. Or do I? I do but I am tired of there not being any definite answers.

 Yes, that’s it. I am tired of thinking and researching and planning and trying to bend the will of the universe to suit me, all to no avail. All for a cloud of uncertainty.

My best moment today: the kids and I went out after dark (that is, after 4:30). It was chilly with a lingering balmy, spring-like quality to the night air. Edward and I lay down on the grass, Jules lay down, face-up, on top of me, and we stared up at the night sky. We talked about what would happen if gravity suddenly ceased to exist.