Edward was having a tough time this morning so for some perhaps insane reason, I let him stay home. I did so, it being my day alone with the twins, on three conditions:

1. finish his homework from last night that was due today (oops)
2. clean his room
3. answer the question: why are the colors of Christmas green and red?

After I got Davey off to school, Edward played with Jules and Mae while I snarfed my gluten-free bagal and yogurt and checked my email. We were in desperate need of diapers and hamburger, so somehow, despite the wild flailings of toddler limbs, I got everyone stuffed into shoes and jackets and loaded into the van.  Edward declared that we were setting off on a field trip. In the spirit of playing school, and inspired by the quick worksheet I made up and printed for #3 above, he sat down at the computer and made himself a math worksheet. He proceeded to solve the 10 or so problems on the drive to the mall. I was so impressed!

Our field trip was a study in mild consumerism, it being a slow Target day for me. We made a quick stop at the toy store in the mall, blew by the mall Santa, hit the pet store where we watched an employee empty the mouse cage for cleaning (fascinating actually - I watched him scoop two dozen white mice out of the tank and couldn’t pull myself away) (yes, I need to get out more), rode the kiddie rides until my change ran out, then returned to Target. After that, we grabbed lunch and made our reason-for-coming-in-the-first-place trip to Costco. The free samples were not as kid-friendly as Edward would have liked, but we stopped at every one nonetheless.

Our afternoon was less productive. While Mae napped, I let Edward have “gym”, consisting of sledding with Jules in the horse pasture. Then I tried to get him to do his worksheet. We Googled and clicked, but the more I tried to explain about the freezing temperature of water (he’d also asked me why salt melts ice), the more I sensed him glazing over. Part of me wanted to push him. Part of me wanted to ask him what was wrong with him, why couldn’t he just focus. But it was 2:45 and I was, to his ears, droning. So I let it go. He went to clean his room for a bit, then came back and did his real school homework. By the time the school bus roared past, he had nearly finished his three tasks for the day.

I let him go off and play with a friend for the rest of the afternoon. When I talked to the mom, she said her kids wanted to come live at my house. Not only do I make superior tater tots, but I let my kid stay home just because he wanted to.

Oh. Ok, that sounds bad, right?

The thing is, I don’t feel guilty about it at all. And when I go to help out in Edward’s class tomorrow, I will tell his teacher about our day today. I’ll show her the work he did, tell her about his gym time and his art time (weaving, taking photos). Granted I might fudge a bit and say he wasn’t feeling well in the morning, but I have had several frank talks with Edward’s teacher about how school is not going well for my boy and what we can possibly do about it. In turn, she has demonstrated nothing but concern for his well-being as a student and fondness for him as a person.

I don’t have a problem with his teacher, in particular, or the school, overall. I am convinced, more so every day, that a traditional school setting is the wrong fit for my son. Our little experiment today? I’m not seriously thinking about homeschooling him. He would probably do well, but it’s not something I could take on right now (or ever?) (but maybe?).  If I felt it were our only option, then maybe… but I haven’t lost faith that somewhere out there is a great school for Edward. A place where he can be inspired and challenged and have fun. A place where his spark is not quelched.