If you play your cards right, my darling daughters, someday you too can be lucky enough to posess both a vintage Mustang and a good man to change the oil for you*. Of course, you might have to let said man drive said Mustang now and then, but no one ever said there wouldn’t be sacrifices.

* Yes, I know how to change the oil, and yes, I have done it. I just happened to be entertaining said man’s four children so he could lie on the driveway and do dirty, grunty, sweary things in sweet, sweet solitude. Who was doing whom the favor, HMM?