Hey you, fellow Target shoppers who stared at me today as I yelled and chased my twin toddler daughters through the aisles, completely losing sight of either one as they bolted in opposite directions, who glanced up then looked away quickly as I dashed by, dropping my purse and tripping over it, almost crushing it and sending me sprawling to the floor, who pretended to be mightily absorbed in your choices of doodad or geegaw as I swerved around a corner, screaming now JULES AND MAE, COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!, who grabbed your carts and turned away as I slid into the display of patio furniture where my girls had trapped themselves from future escape, their giggles turning to wails and tears as I snatched the coveted pink Peeps out of their hands and threw them aside, growling and gasping for breath – to you fellow shoppers (women all) I say, THANKS FOR NOTHING.