Saturday afternoon already. I’m sitting and watching my daughters sleep, because Jules woke up and will only continue her nap if I am in the room. I’m grateful she went back to sleep. They were both awake at 6:44 AM. Dex and the boys have been out all morning. Dex called to inform me that I failed to return a book to the library (in another town, one we rarely visit) - it was due in January. Cripes. Story of my life these days. Oh, and Library, thanks for the overdue notice I never received!

The week went fast. I had two days of kid-free time, plus another partial morning. I worked on my stuff, which felt fantastic. On Wednesday, as I worked on my business website design, I kept having the almost overwhelming urge to stand up and go tend to something I must certainly be forgetting. There had to be something else I was supposed to be tending to or some kid about to get into trouble. Then I would remind myself, with a full body sigh, that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. It is going to take me weeks grow accustomed to that idea.

I have so much churning around in my mind. I am trying to break it all down into managable chunks of thought. The blend button keeps getting pressed, though, and it all whirls together in one messy blur. I write it all out, then write it out again. I run over the same ideas until channels of thought are worn smooth. What I need are some answers. And what I need… what I need is to believe in the answers I already know.

Crap. Where is that library book?